The usefulness of a new attitude

When I expressed a need for a change in my attitude toward approaching in my last post I was very eager to go out and see what effects it would have on my game. I wanted to know if approaching a girl with boldness and not being afraid of what I wanted would have any significant effect. After finishing the post I immediately went to a local mall and began approaching.

Usually if I go out to meet girls I find it very hard to get past the initial nervousness. As I have mentioned in previous posts it usually takes me some time to push past the fear. This time was different. While it took a minute to find a target, as soon as I had one I made my move. The interaction was very brief because while I did my best to be charming my goal was to get used to the idea that I was pursuing what I wanted. So I asked for her number after about five minutes of interaction. She was married.

I quickly moved on and approached a girl I had wanted to talk to for a few weeks but had not had the courage. She was tending a sunglasses kiosk. She was also married.

I approached another and simply focused on flirting because she looked kind of young. She was responding very positively. At an appropriate time I asked her if she was going to school. Yes she was, to high school.

The next girl had a boyfriend. But she seemed impressed about my boldness.

The final approach was the worst. I was very encouraged about the fact that I had talked to four girls all within the space of an hour. I was so confident I simply said: "I am looking for a girlfriend." Not surprisingly she indicated she was not interested and neither was her friend. This brought me down to earth quite fast and I made a hasty retreat.

I did talk to a few other girls that night, just to strike up a conversation. In the end I learned some important things from these attempts and subsequent interactions.

-Being bold and honest about what I want, and pursuing it without apology is an effective antidote to fear. Especially if I was primarily afraid of my own desires.

-Rejection sucks. Big time. I am still kicking myself over the "I am looking for a girlfriend" line {Cringe}.

-Rejection is bearable and it is necessary for refining your approach.

-Malls may not be the best place for approaching. There are too many high-schoolers. I am thinking that going to a college may be a better place to approach.

-Boldness has a great deal of momentum. It gave me confidence to move from one approach to another without hesitation.

Since then I have done a number of approaches. Some with the intent of getting a number others just to strike up a conversation. This has taught me that doing several approaches with the intent of attracting a girl has its merits, but it is not necessary to separate your interactions into game and non-game categories. Every interaction is an opportunity to practice your skills whether projecting a bold attitude or simply practicing your people skills. Remember that game is a life skill and it is important to recognize that it can improve all areas of your life, not just your interactions with women.

After all an alpha is an alpha all the time, and if you have the attitude that game is something you are practicing all the time you will get better that much faster.