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| Photo courtesy of http://blackgirllonghair.com |
The saga continues... I was chatting it up with this guy online who was an ideal candidate for me. He was a fellow blerd who preferred to stay indoors and read rather than go outdoors and drink---a plus. He also was studying to get his Masters degree in Sports Psychology and was looking to start his own business counseling former athletes suffering from depression. He had two kids, but they were grown and lived with their mother in a different state. He and I also once lived in the same city and shared an affinity for big city living and small town dwellings. He also was extremely attractive.
Sounds almost too perfect.
Nerdy guy check. Brainiac check. A void of drama with babimomma and kids check. Commonalities check. Hot guy alert---check.
So what went wrong?
I refuse to judge someone based on their past experiences. We all have a tainted past that in some degrees may have been more severe than others, but we've all made our mistakes and there is absolutely no reason to judge someone based on the missteps they made especially if they have now seen the error of their ways. Having said that, my online guy mentioned things to me during his moment of honesty that I can only assume he later regret telling me. He moved from a rough part of the Bronx, NY down to Wilmington, NC where I reside. He lives with his family and works at a medial job as a cook. He doesn't have a car and he mentioned that his funds are "tight" right now. I wasn't sure of what he meant by his definition of "tight", but I can only assume, that his job is more than likely a minimum-wage position and he has just enough to support himself and utilize the public transit system to get around.
Okay Okay. So what? I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. The qualities I mentioned in the first paragraph of this post, supersedes these trivial issues of money and material possessions. A man can always find a better paying job (especially since this guy is in college pursing an advanced degree) and a man can always get a car.
When he asked me to tell him about me and my background, I think I blew him away. I mean this in the most modest way, but I think that men sometimes are intimidated by my intelligence and my drive. I had already achieved the things he was striving for as far as education. As far as finances, the absence of children and a good career plus benefits with a competitive salary probably didn't help him feel as adequate.
I took the initiative of giving him my phone number, thinking that the gesture would ease his fear that I may no longer be interested. However, this conversation took place over a week ago and I have not heard from him since.
I'm not sure what to think. Did I scare him off? Should I have lied about my educational background or told him I worked for a different company? Should I just have been very generic about my background and then later tell him the details? I am the type of person that if I get the impression that you lack some interest in me, I refuse to pursue you. I will just let you go and you can find me when you're ready to be interested in me again. Many of my girlfriends told me I should have tried to reach out to him again after not hearing from him a couple of days.
Why should I do that? I gave him MY number. He never gave me his. If you like me, you will call. If not, then you won't. Its just that simple. I can only assume that either I scared him off or maybe he started talking to someone else. I have no clue. I just know that once again the journey continues.
To be continued? Yes--it looks that way folks.
