When I was in high school I actually had my heart set on going to a HBCU, Howard University to be exact. HU was my dream college. I thought about going there back in 5th or 6th grade. I even wrote it down each year of school
"I'm going to Howard when I graduate!" But life happens, things come up, minds get changed quickly. Around the late middle school years and all through high school I started to push myself away from a lot of things, and people. Mostly because things at home with my family were up and down so this kinda pushed me away even more. So around 11th grade year I took the act/sat's, at this point not feeling any desires about going to HU or any large university for that matter. I had built this bubble around myself. I was most comfortable when I didn't have too many people around. I enjoyed doing most things this way, If ever placed in a situation where I had to be around a lot of people I would had found some way to get out it. As I got close to the last months of high school to submit college applications nothing but fear ran through my body. HU suddenly didn't seem like the place I wanted to be after all. A part of me wasn't ready to leave home and live in DC, the other part was just fear (why so much fear?) I guess fear of a sudden change. At this time of my life I didn't do well with change, especially sudden change. So after weeks of saying Ill send out my application I never did. I just wasn't ready. Although I always felt college was always going to be apart of my life, at that point I didn't know I was going to change my mind like that.
So after a year or so at my local CC (community college) I realized being in a class room was not for me. Although I did very well, I felt the classroom setting was too overwhelming. Way too many people in one room, way too many things going on, and I did once again felt uncomfortable. So one day I did a ton of research on colleges online. And I then felt like "okay this is for me". With this idea I didn't feel any worries only just a big push to finish school. This also was a great idea because during this time I just started a new full time job. I enjoy working but enjoy getting my education on too. So I felt like this was the better choice for me.
I enrolled into a school, got my 1st degree, with that got a promotion at my job. Now I'm back working on my next degree. With the choice I made about college I feel happy, yet positive and motivated. Some may say that I'm missing out on the true college experience but that maybe true to some, but I honestly don't feel that way. My education is no lesser to anyone going to a school out of state for 4 years or so. Do I ever think or miss the idea of ever going to HU ...umm sometimes but mostly I'm staying focus with my choice and my happiness.
So this is just to say dont continue or being in a situation that makes you feel a certain way, find a way to improve that and follow what can help you later and bring you happiness.
