Holidays: Ignore the experts

This is the Alpha Game Holiday Survival Guide part III.  Regarding gifts, here are several "helpful" suggestions offered by the experts on women in the mainstream media:

• Anything that suggests that the recipient is anything less than perfect will go down worse than Frankie Boyle at a kid's Christmas party.
•  Never buy a woman an iron for Christmas unless you want to get hit over the head with it.
•  Guys, this is 50 shades of WRONG. Don't even think about it - or anything else tenuously linked to 50 Shades of Grey for that matter.
• Nothing says "I don't really think that much of you" quite like a handbag by 'Louis Vilton'. If you can't stretch to a designer bag, better to opt for the (genuine) perfume.

Translation: don't buy a woman anything that might be sexy, affordable, useful, improving, or popular.  Only gifts that are rare, expensive, and useless will be appreciated.  Except, as we already know, buying the perfect gift is the worst thing you can possibly do since it will create an unwanted sense of obligation.

It's fascinating, too, that apparently physical violence is deemed a reasonable response to an unwanted gift.  I wonder what the reaction would be if it were suggested that a woman should not buy a man a tie unless she wants to get strangled by it?  Does anyone suppose that the average man wants yet another tie any more than the average woman wants a new iron?

So, ignore the experts.  If she said she wanted X at some point during the year, then buy X.  Don't overthink these things and stop striving for the nonexistent perfect gift.  Remember that presents don't fix relationship problems.