I watched this powerful video today and I had to wonder if anybody I've known has been abused? I have never been in a physically abusive relationship, but I've been in a verbally abusive friendship. I have always been friends with more guys than girls. Most of my guy friends were from work or from school. I met this guy named, Joe*, at a restaurant I worked at when I was about 19 years old.
He was the coolest guy. He loved the same nerdy things I did and he had a wicked sense of humor. We started hanging out everyday and I have to admit I had feelings for him. But I started noticing things that were not all the way right. I should of noticed that something is wrong with him. But slowly I started to see him unravel. He always disagreed with the management team at our job. I mean he would openly say mean things to them. He also would say rude things to the women in the workplace. I just ignored it because it wasn't me and he wasn't mean to me. Well he had series if bad things happen to him (lost his car and his job).
He started to be dependent on me for everything. Well it all changed when moved in together. We moved in together and that's when things got back. Joe started getting verbally abusive over the smallest things. He started to yell at me for everything and would say the nastiest things behind my back. Things got super ugly when I started dating my husband, Rocky. Joe started acting up even more when I spent more time with Rocky. Rocky and I started to spend a lot of time together. During this time I conceived our first child, Olivia. The pregnancy was a surprise because I was told that it would be hard for me to get pregnant. When I told my roommate the great news, he immediately asked me “when are you going to have an abortion?"
I was floored with what he said. Most of my friends were do excited for me, but Joe kept telling that I needed to get rid of my baby. This is definitely the beginning of the end. He continued to be super mean while I was pregnancy. I knew I had to get out. Rocky offered to take me in. I ran like hell. I knew I had to take card of myself and for my unborn baby. I still don't know why I stayed so long. But I guess my self esteem was in the drain. Since I moved away, I've been super happy. My relationship has been awesome and I have best little girl. If you are reading this and you're in a relationship that is toxic, run. It might be hard to run and leave, but you will be happier. You will never worry about saying the wrong things or doing the wrong things. You will be in peace. *Names have been changed for safety purposes.
Brittany Stringfield Logan is the writer and creator of The Lows and Woes of a Natural Girl she's into all things nerdy including Star Wars, Star Trek, Comic Books, and Graphic Novels. She is currently featured on Black Girl Nerd's BGN Girl series.
