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The other day I saw a few tweets condemning those who celebrate Thanksgiving, in light of the true history behind the first Thanksgiving--when countless Indians were massacred. While Thanksgiving remains a very special day for me, I have to admit that I did frown a bit when I read some of these tweets. It's not that I didn't already know the true story of the day (and am not equally horrified by the events), but I don't particularly like the idea of judging others who continue to celebrate the day. It's like appraising people because they don't share your religion. It just doesn't seem right to me.
I can understand why some people have negative feelings toward Thanksgiving. But here's what the day means to me: food, family and togetherness (not exactly in that order). I'm a major foodie (restaurant week is my version of the Super Bowl next to the Oscars), so I enjoy cooking food for my family and friends. I'm not going to lie, it's a ton of work. But to see my loved ones gather together to gossip, catch up with one another and exchange funny stories really warms my heart (plus, when they offer to help with the preparation and clean up afterwards that's even better).
My family isn't as close as some other families. Unfortunately, we really only see each other on Thanksgiving or Christmas, or a funeral (of course, I'd rather it be for the former two occasions). We're all scattered across the country so getting together isn't always easy. Shamefully, some of us don't even have each other's phone numbers, so we just barely keep in touch through my Grandma (who's all knowing). So these holidays are a time for us to reconnect and really be a family. We fuss over who cooks the best dish (my specialty is five cheese baked macaroni), who's getting divorced/married and who's expecting a new child. (Of course the latter subject usually results in questions about when I'm getting married or having a baby--but that's for another post).
For my Grandma, Thanksgiving is a time for all her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren to fill her house--which has gotten emptier over the years--with laughter, love and happiness. We're together, and that's all that matters. My point is, Thanksgiving usually means something different for everyone. As time goes on and our priorities and values continue to evolve, certain occasions take new shapes and serve new meaning in our lives. What does the day mean to you?
Candice Frederick is a former editor for Essence Magazine and a NABJ Award recipient. She writes the film blog Reel Talk and serves as co-host of “Cinema in Noir”.