Michelle is a bitch. No one can say anything around without her sarcastic commentary. Her husband, Derek, is a very cheerful guy, but she does nothing but shit-test him. Having her around can bring a whole group down. I have wanted to call her a bitch to her face for a while now but refrained because her husband is a friend, and I doubt it would have much effect anyway. The only thing I could do was ignore her and try to avoid engaging her.
Today I could not avoid it. I was getting some lunch with Derek and found out half-way through that he had invited his wife. The first thing out of her mouth when she sat down was a shit-test directed at me. I failed miserably. The contempt just radiated off her. As she went to get her meal I pulled myself together and got into the right mind set. As soon as returned she lobbed another shit-test at me. I ignored it and asked Derek: "Is it the hormones?" (she is pregnant which makes the bitchiness even worse). She laughed and tried again. I asked her if she felt her IQ go down while pregnant. She laughed. Now I know that these were not really negs. They were closer to insults, but for this woman they were warranted. Throughout the meal I did nothing but neg and tease her. I teased her about being fat, stupid, and generally obnoxious and the more I did the more pleasant she became. I highly doubt that this approach would work with every grouchy pregnant woman but at least I found a way to make future interaction with this particular grouchy pregnant woman much more bearable.
(Names have been changed)
