Mommy is not sexy

Susan asked in her post yesterday if gender equality in the bedroom inhibits arousal and if women feminists hot in the sack. My answers to them were yes and no, at least for most psycho-socially healthy men. Here is why.

1. If a man wants to get bossed around in bed, he wouldn't be with you, he'd be tied up in a dungeon with Mistress Dragoncrotch repeatedly cracking a whip over his bruised posterior. This doesn't mean he won't enjoy you being on top, telling him what you want, or taking the initiative for a change, but outright issuing orders tends to be, shall we say, deflationary.

2. If he wanted to get his hand swatted and told that he's a bad boy for wanting to do X or touch Y, he wouldn't be with you, he'd be getting himself off while indulging in his Oedipal fantasies. In case you haven't noticed, women can engage in baby talk and it's sexy, or at least cute. Men, not so much. There is almost nothing more unsexy a woman can do than the sexual equivalent of mommy swatting the naughty boy's hand for reaching into the cookie jar.

3. If a man wanted true and genuine equality in the boudoir, he would not be with a woman in the first place.