How's this for starters. As she left for a grocery run I told her we were out of a personal item. She protested and said I should get it. At first I tried to explain why she should then quit and said OK, I'll get it. Later she came back and said she'd get it, she didn't want to be difficult. I gave a cheerful chuckle and smile and said "too late".To be blunt, it is terrible. It's bad enough when women behave like passive-aggressive bitches. It is MUCH worse when men behave that way. Think about it. If you wouldn't say something to another man, don't even think about saying it to a woman.
Anonymous made no less than three mistakes here. First, he should have ASKED her to pick up whatever the item was. Think about it. How do you prefer to be informed about something that is needed at the store when you are going out. "We're out of milk" is not a request, it is a statement. "Will you please pick up some milk?" is the correct and civil way to ask someone to do something. Information is not a request.
Second, if she is being a bitch about it - and admittedly, many women are completely hypocritical about refusing to do for others what they regularly demand others do for them - it is a huge mistake to argue or attempt to explain why she should behave like a civilized human being capable of reciprocity and enlightened self-interest. If she's in the mood to act like a useless animal, you are not going to be successful in attempting to reason with her as if she is a rational human being. You made the request, she said no, so leave it at that. Don't get mad, don't show your irritation, don't make any idle threats about future consequences, just calmly accept her response at face value and know that you'll have to do it yourself.
Third, while Anonymous did the correct thing in simply taking care of business himself, he subsequently blew it by acting like a nasty little girl. Saying "too late" and flashing a bitchy, passive-aggressive smile shows neither alpha strength nor sigma indifference, but gamma weakness. The correct response would have been to say calmly, "thanks, but I already took care of it."
The right time to act - not speak - is the next time you go out to run some errands. The delta tendency will be to silently acquiesce to her requests and do her shopping in the hopes that the positive example will change her behavior in the future. Hint: it won't. The gamma tendency will be to get into an argument about why you shouldn't have to pick up things for her if she's not picking up things for you. The alpha response is to simply say "No" and go about your business without regard for hers. Rest assured she will know exactly why you are refusing to act as her errand boy and she may subject you to the silent treatment for the rest of the day. But the next time she leaves the house, there is a very good chance she will politely ask you if there is anything she can pick up for you while she is out. Don't ask any questions, don't discuss it, simply respond with any requests that you might have.
Based on my experience, the sigma tendency would apparently be to completely forget the previous incident, agree to pick something up for her, get distracted and end up buying something that is completely unrelated to any of the planned or requested errands, and return home without anything that was on anyone's list. Today I went out to buy a gas cap and see about the car tires. Naturally, I came home with a portable roll-up hose system... it was half-price and came with a free jet attachment. You can't convincingly fake nonchalance, so if it doesn't happen to come naturally I would not recommend it. Go with the alpha approach and Just Say No.
Anyhow, there is really no excuse for men or women to refuse to behave in a reaonable and civil manner. A man can refuse to play along with a woman's self-centered and hypocritical behavior, in fact, he should refuse to go along with it. But it is counterproductive for him to stoop to her uncivil level, still less to utilize feminine tactics, in doing so.
