I find it amazing how much you appreciate being a nerd once you get older. Adding two cups of wisdom along with a pint of experience and mix it all together with maturity gives you a bewitching concoction of someone who is secure in who and what they are. My security and confidence may not be at 100%, but its steadily growing year by year. I've finally come to terms with the fact that I am an uncool nerdy black girl and I embrace it! I love it!
So why were there so many years when I was ashamed of it?
The perception of women of color for me were women who was cool, confident, boisterous, and extroverted. I never saw movies, TV shows, books, or images of nerdy black women. There were a plethora of nerdy white women like Velma Dinkley from Scooby Doo, Tracy Flick from Election, and Hermione Granger from Harry Potter.
One could argue well what about America Ferrera from Ugly Betty? Or Issa Rae from Misadventures of Awkward Black Girl?
Well Issa Rae just emerged last year and is the only one and Ugly Betty is now off the air, so where has my archetype been all these years? Is it because pop culture and our current media thinks that being a nerdy black girl is perceived as "uncool"?
Or could it be that perhaps the media is not ready to accept the fact that there is a large subculture of BGN's out there that exist and refuse to be defined by racial stereotypes that are depicted on "reality" TV shows like Basketball Wives and Love & Hip Hop?
I put the term "reality" within the space of quotation marks because there is nothing "real" about those shows. I think the only element that is real is the fact that these women use these shows as their own selfish platform to promote themselves and garner attention in every which way they can to build a loyal audience to their cause. The Kardashian clan have created an financial empire out of this and everyone else is looking to follow suit.
I can't bash the women for doing their thing to make their ends meet because God knows the economy is rough---but what concerns me is the fact that every network that chooses a reality TV show as part of their programming, only airs these types of shows. Black women fussing back and forth at one another over men and money. Does life really boil down to only those two things? Should only those two things really matter?
It absolutely does not. The women depicted on these shows are a small sample of the black female population, yet the the media spotlight is featured only on that sample. Aside from all of the noise, there is a segment of the population (which is larger than you may think) of black women who choose to be quiet, reserved, introverted beings that enjoy a good book on a Friday night rather than free before 11 at the club.
I also think there are many BGN's out there that are true introverts but are living their lives as extroverts. In other words, they are hiding behind a social mask to simply fit in with their peers. I can speak to this issue because that was me several years ago. I was trying to fit into a social mold as an extroverted party girl and thinking it was "cool" to spend several nights barhopping and binge drinking to make friends. Your story may not be as extreme as mine, but everyone has a story of trying to be someone that they are not.
I would love to see more images of nerdy black women in movies, books, websites, and most importantly---reality TV shows. Heck, I think it would be awesome if there was a nerdy black girl reality TV show out there. Why the heck not? I think we would be interesting to watch!
I just want to put it out there to all BGN readers old and new that it is OK to be the uncool black girl. If you are known to be a nerd in your high school, university, church, or workplace. Guess what? You're not ALONE! There are a ton of us out there! Do not ever feel like being a nerdy black girl makes you different or weird. You only feel that way because what you see in those forms of media I mentioned (TV, print, movie, books, etc) are images of what black women are supposed to be like when in fact once again and please let me reiterate---it is only a small sample!
It's like a slice of frosted cake. Take the slice on its own and the sample is the frosting on the top filled with sugar and little content. However, the layer underneath the frosting represents all of the ingredients and contents that gives a cake its flavor. The flour, butter, milk, and that yummy sugar.
BGN's are all of the ingredients ground up to give black women their flavor. We're political, bookworms, cosplayers, gamers, and internet geeks. We're three-dimensional and you can't fit us in a box and if you tried, the box would bust wide open.
It's OK to be the uncool black girl. Uncool is the new cool.
J.
