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| PREACH! |
TRAIT 1: You were always awkward
For example, when I was a little kid, my parents worried about me. It wasn't that I wasn't hitting all those developmental milestones that psychologists say a kid should pass at a certain age. Yeah, I was a little slow to walk, but I was fast to talk. I learned to use the potty and did well in pre-K and kindergarten. Nowhere on my report card did my teacher, Ms. Hammond, write, "Shell does not play well with others." No, what had my parents worried is that I had no rhythm.
To their great horror, they noticed it one day when I was dancing in front of the television to one of my favorite songs. (Knowing me, probably something by Wham!) They realized that the fruit of their loins couldn't dance for ish. Yeah, I was snapping my fingers. I did a few twirls. But I was nowhere near as coordinated as those babies you see working it in R&B and hiphop videos.
My mom was confused. My dad blamed it on me watching way too much American Bandstand and not enough Soul Train. It would take years for me to feel comfortable dancing in front of other black people without worrying that they would point and laugh and tell me to get my arrhythmic behind off the dance floor.
TRAIT 2: Family/classmates/strangers spot your nerdiness pretty early
My mom said that I often got compliments from strangers on how properly I spoke when I was a toddler. One woman at a mall even smiled, remarked on my elocution, and then asked my mother, "Is her father white?" (I wish I could have photographed my mom's facial expression after that one.)
At school during recess, while the other girls would stand on the playground, gossiping about boys while they played double dutch, I was content to stay inside, draw on the chalkboard or read the encyclopedia... for FUN. My teacher tried to force me to hang out with the other girls, but I'd make an excuse that I really had to go to the bathroom. I'd leave recess and just read more encyclopedia volumes alone in the classroom. Finally, my teacher gave up. She didn't know what was "wrong" with me, and frankly I didn't either. Now I know trying to convert a blerd to a social butterfly is a lost cause.
TRAIT 3: You're accused of "acting white"
Oh, we all know this one! At my predominantly black school and in my predominantly black inner-city neighborhood in D.C., white people were the "other," so if you did anything that seemed remotely different, uncool, or outright strange then you had to be "acting white." I didn't know until I went to a more multiracial high school in the burbs that "acting white" wasn't an accurate description either. Most of the white and Filipino kids thought I was strange too. It wasn't until I sat at the lunch table with a group of guys who quoted from Monty Python movies (We are the knights that say, "Niiiiiii!"), traded comic books, and liked the same books, movies, and TV shows that I did, that I realized that I wasn't "acting white"... I was a nerd.
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| Ha-ha! I'm pretending to be white... cuz I'm a blerd. Get it. |
TRAIT 4: You somehow become the blerd ambassador
As pointed out in other blog posts, black nerds live in the shadows of black culture at large. Black people are supposed to be cool. They're supposed to be soulful. (Whatever the hell that means.) They are definitely not supposed to be strange or awkward.
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| Carlton of Fresh Prince: not a real blerd |
In fact, I had one white friend who told me he was shocked when he met his first black nerd in high school. My friend had grown up in the Mid-West and in Europe as an Air Force brat. The only black nerds he knew of were Steve Urkel on Family Matters and Carlton on Fresh Prince of Bel Air. But those were obvious caricatures. Black nerds didn't really exist, did they? Why yes, they do! Like a rare bird, you can spot one if you look very carefully. They're usually off by themselves, might randomly respond with a yes when you ask, "Hey, has anyone seen that [insert name of obscure French film, new sci-fi movie, or strange comedy]?", and may or may not rattle off the name of the web sites where they go to get the latest game system cheat codes.
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| Neil DeGrasse Tyson, certified blerd |
If they don't exhibit any of these traits, it may be time to rescind their blerd card.
On a side note, the fake nerd phenomenon will be discussed more on the next podcast of Black Girl Nerds. I won't be hosting that night, but I'll be tuning in. :)
— Black Girl Nerds contributor, Shelly Ellis
