After having an in-depth Twitter convo the other night about black women and their hair, I was encouraged to write this post. I feel very strongly that black women receive more judgment than any other racial demographic when it comes to the issue of hair.
I also believe we’re judged more when it comes to a whole host of issues other than hair, but we can always revisit those topics at a later time.
In the meantime, I want to discuss briefly my reflection of how many of us feel when it comes to how we wear our hair. There are black women who feel judged for wearing their hair natural and black women who feel judged for wearing weave. This dialogue strikes us to our very core, because our hair is an extension of our beauty. It’s what others see, but most importantly it is what we see. We should first love ourselves, before seeking approval from others, even when it boils down to how we style our hair. I think it is very poor judgment to adopt that black women are monolithic when it comes to our hair. There are women who choose to only go with a natural fro or half-fro, there are women who love their hair braided and locked, there are women who love to wear synthetic or human hair whether it is European or Yaki.
Am I not black enough because I like wearing European weaves?
Am I making a political statement because I decided to do the big chop and go natural?
Am I too “ethnic” for wearing dreadlocks?
Why are there so many presumptions in our community when it comes to our hair? First of all, let’s keep this simple guys. How you wear your hair and what style you choose is really not that serious. I mean that with all due respect. I wear my hair a certain way for convenience, to allow my hair to stay healthy, for simplicity, and for beauty. I’m not thinking of what kind of statement am I making by wearing my hair a certain way. I choose to wear weaves because I like the way they look on me, and I love the options of styling with weave, that I cannot do with my own natural hair.
Someone tweeted to me that she is sick of the judgment that comes from new found natural-hair enthusiasts giving the *side-eye* to women who embrace and hold on tight (sew-in tight) to their weaves. I think there is an air of arrogance when it comes to black women who choose to wear weaves exclusively or even women who choose to relax their hair. On the opposite side of the spectrum, there are women who wear weaves who have a condescending attitude towards women who choose to go natural. No one here has clean hands when we rush to judgment the personality of a person based on how they wear their hair. Whether you prefer the crack and perm or choose to have a chemical-free lifestyle, the bottom line is no one is better than the other.
We all have our reasons for why we wear our hair and none of them have anything to do with you. So don’t judge. There is a beauty in the art of black hair. Our hair allows us to do so many things with it, that we have a crown on our heads that is very valuable. We can twist, press, lock, curl, extend, flatten, crinkle, braid, coil, and do so much with our hair that no other women of any other racial demographic can do. That truly means something, and rather than throwing bitter criticism at one another about why we choose or do not choose relaxers, weaves, and fros is the trivial part. The substantive meaning behind why we wear our hair is the fact that it is an extension of how we see ourselves.
One day I may feel like I want to wear my hair in a short cropped pixie cut like Halle Berry.
Another day I may choose to have my hair braided in a box braid style like Solange Knowles.
Or I may choose to wear my Yaki perm straight weave like La La Anthony
However I choose to wear my hair should be of no concern to anyone but the person actually wearing it. Don’t judge me for how I wear my hair. Get to know me first, and you will probably be surprised why I choose to wear my hair this way or that way. Our idiosyncrasies with our hairstyles are what make us a community to be treasured. Own your beauty. It is a powerful tool, and don’t ever let anyone take that away from you.
