In about week, I will embark on a brand new academic journey in a new state, city, and school. Starting August 29th I will be pursuing a PhD in African American Studies at University of California Berkeley. Never did I think I would be so nervous, but it's just something different about this upcoming experience. As I reflect back, while I was pursuing my Master's at Georgia State in Atlanta everything was familiar to me, I knew all the spots to hang out, I had a church home, my mama had relocated with me, and I had my crew of friends and colleagues. But now I start anew and this time the stakes are even higher!
When I first got word that I was accepted into the program, I literally shouted and hit Cloud 9! To get into any PhD program is a competitive process (plus get funding), and I was one of the blessed few to say, "I got in!" I read my acceptance letter numerous times the day I received it with sheer joy! It was just too real. Could it be that this first-generation, single-parent raised African American young woman from Champaign, Illinois got accepted into UC Berkeley? Not that I doubted my potential, it was just so surreal. I began to realize the Creator knew what (s)he was doing when I was granted a spot in the program, and thus the real journey began. In a sense this is the ultimate test of can you handle the task that has been placed before you?
With each day, I realize I am getting closer and closer to a dream fulfilled. But first there will be more books which means more reading, more writing, and definitely more research. Then there's the new schedule, new classmates, new professors, and new styles of learning. So you can see how the fear just adds up! I figure it is only human to have these fears, it's just strange especially when you have not encountered this much fear before. But once again I must remind myself to "Keep Calm and Recognize the End Result".
Imagine being sent to another world with just three suitcases, your Macbook Pro, and a dream. Well that picture is an actual reality. Thus, I think the reason why I am more nervous about this is that there are so many expectations set, and so many folks who are counting on me to succeed. Not to mention after I complete this degree (yes I'm claiming it) the dream becomes the career and LIFE REALLY DOES BEGIN! When it is all said and done, the fear of the unknown can be quite overwhelming, particularly when you are doing it by yourself.
So in order for me to transition out of this fear, I figured I would create a few steps to make the process a little easier:
1) Stay in touch: Just because I am on the other coast does not mean I can't communicate with my folks back home. Thank goodness for Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Skype, email and the good old cell phone or land line. It's not like I have vanished from the Earth, I've just merely traveled a few more hours away.
2) Break out of the Shell and Explore: That's the great thing about being in a new state, you get see all these new sites, learn the cultures, and discover brand new familiar places. And just think if I ever move I can share with others the new hot spots that I have learned. And as much as I love to network, this is a great opportunity to build and expand.
3) Patience is key: Nothing happens overnight. It takes time for things to become normal. Why rush into something when you can just let it happen. Just let the light shine! I figure the less stress the better. In due time, I will really have something to stress about (finals, papers, qualifying exams, etc.) so why open that can of worms before its time.
I will admit although I have a lot of butterflies in my stomach, nerves shaking, and a list of other fears, there is still the determination to move forward. When it is all said done the work must be done AND it will be done! "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear...And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path....Only I will remain." ~'Dune' by Frank Herbert
Just me and my thoughts...
~Post by Grace D. Gipson aka GBreezy
