Image courtesy of www.abs-cbnnews.com
Source: www.abs-cbnnews.com
Nikki Gil regrets that her relationship with former boyfriend Billy Crawford lasted five years, saying she chose several times to ignore "warnings" of the singer's supposed indiscretions.
While she still did not specify the cause of their breakup in July, the 26-year-old actress brought up instances when she had been suspicious of Crawford's behavior during the relationship.
"I'm sure we had our good times, but at this point, I honestly can't remember any," Gil told Cosmpolitan's Krizette Chu in the magazine's December 2013 issue.
"Now everything is questionable to me. It's rushing back to me how [inconsistent] the timeline was. When he did this... but then may bawi," she said.
Gil recalled "always getting a lot of warning, but I chose to ignore them."
"I couldn't wrap my head around the fact that it could be done to me. I'd ask him, 'Why were you [at this place]?' Then, I'd back off and say, 'Nevermind, I was just asking.' You just brush it under the rug, until one day, it all blows up in your face," she said.
Third party?
At the time, the actress said she ruled out the idea that Crawford could do anything to hurt her. "Para sa akin, mabait naman ako, they can't do this to me. Imposibleng kakarmahin ako, or that life will slap me with this, 'diba? But no, it did."
In his first interview following the breakup, an emotional Crawford said it "all boils down to me," and that he was "lost and confused." Rumors later surfaced, romantically linking him to actress Andi Eigenmann and TV host Coleen Garcia.
Crawford denied being involved with either woman. Eigenmann and Garcia, in separate interviews, also denied having romantic ties with the "It's Showtime" host.
While she has refused to address the allegations of a third party, saying "it is not my story to tell," Gil, in her Cosmopolitan interview, alluded to the topic.
"I'm a woman and I protect what's mine, I don't touch what's not mine. If I were the kind of girl [who'd steal a boyfriend], I'd understand completely, but -- I cherish those things," she said.
No sex until marriage
When the topic of her preference to only have sex after marriage was brought up, it being a possible factor in the breakup, Gil said, "O, sige, 'yan na ang kapintasan ko!"
"Peope have said, 'Eh, kasi, lalaki. May pangangailangan.' My point exactly! See? Kung 'yan lang pala ang issue, [he didn't really deserve me]. Nobody told me to stay a virgin, or because I'm a stuck-up prude na holy-holy. It's my choice," she said.
"I've always been ma-pride. If sex is something I value, [gano'n talaga]!"
On whether Crawford ever protested to the idea of not having sex until they get married, Gil said, "That's the thing! Hindi! He'd always say, 'Push! I'm proud of you!' And I'm like, 'Wow, you're so understanding naman.' 'Yun pala..."
Why 5 years?
Gil said she feels relieved to have discovered certain things in their relationship, adding that it saved her from agreeing to marry him.
"Thank you, people around him, for causing this to happen, because if it didn't, it would have lasted longer," she said. "The scary thing, knowing what I know now, is I would have said yes to his insincere offers of marriage!"
Nikki Gil posts an Instagram collage of Billy Crawford's photos on May 16, on the occasion of his birthday
But the "Maria Mercedes" actress lamented that it took too long before she decided to end the relationship, saying she missed out on some experiences as a young adult.
"My only regret? Why five years? Why not three? Or two? After five of my formative years, my early twenties, when I should've been having fun -- I feel like I'm back to square one!
"With everything being said to me now, I'm like, 'Dude, you couldn't have told me during year three? I reached a point na, 'Ano'ng nangyari sa'yo, girl? Inaapakan ka na!'"
Admittedly, the onset of the separation left her "broken," especially because of "how easy it was for him to just let go."
But Gil said she is now gladly turning a page. She has admitted dating again, and is only happy to be scoring endorsements after product endorsements. She also happens to be the star villain of a primetime soap.
"Everything that's happening in my life, whether it's something I imagined or something I didn't see coming, is just part of a grand plan," she said.
"There are so many other possibilities for each impossibility that I face, and the best thing is, for the first time in long, long time, I'm faced with all these possibilities again.
