Dear Harsh Stereotypes,
I’m writing this letter to you because I am tired of being labeled by you simply because of the color of my skin. I grew up in a neighborhood that was heavily populated by individuals of all different racial and ethnic backgrounds. I was exposed to several cultures that existed outside of the black community, and when I was in my late teens, I started dating outside of the color lines. I’m not sure why all of these years since I was a child in school, that I was called “white girl” by my black peers.
I didn't understand what that meant. My school was composed of Hispanic, Asian, Native American, Middle Eastern, and several other nationalities or an amalgam of several races. Why was I placed into a category of being White? Since when was being Caucasian the conventional racial makeup of anyone who is not Black?
I remember when I felt the need to dumb myself down and limit my vocabulary so I could fit in with my friends. If I ever slipped out a word that they didn't know, I would be teased for “being” or “acting” like a white girl. I’m not certain where this insecurity or vitriol comes from, but for many years I compromised my integrity to suit and please others. I would use slang words and modify my accent to sound more like my friends. It was so bad that one day my mother pointed it out to me and asked why I was talking that way. It was at that moment, that her and I both knew that neither one of us was fooling anyone.
I later was accepted at an HBCU (historically black college or university) in the fall and found that I had to change who I was to fit in with my community. I had to sound, think, and act like them to feel loved and accepted. As it turned out, I had to do no such thing. My black male and female peers spoke, thought, and acted just as I did. In the shallow words of my friends, they too also sounded “white”. My college peers also had eccentric tastes in music, culture, food, political ideals, and so much more. College opened me up to more people of my ilk and I learned that I wasn't alone, that there were a plethora of people just like me in this world.
I still get called “a white girl” by family and friends. I realize now that I have acquired enough tenure in my lifetime where I have gained insight, forethought, and wisdom to recognize that there is an ugly stereotype attached to intelligence and blackness. I realized that somehow if you have an expanded vocabulary and choose to use it, then somehow you are extricating yourself from your blackness. This is a stereotype that has got to go. So please go away Harsh Stereotypes. Stop plaguing the black community with your nonsense and your lies. I am who I am because that is who God created me to be. I’m not someone who suffers from self-hatred. Nor am I an abnormal displaced black woman who has issues with her identity.
I am a child of God who is proud of who she is and what she has become. I love all things in my culture and embrace my ancestry. So if calling me "a white girl" helps you to sleep better at night, then feel free to do so.
In the end I know who I am and have fully accepted me, myself, and I
Have you?
Sincerely,
The Lonely Girl Who Sounds Different.
