Young men are noticing

I've written before about how women tend to treat those to whom they are close much worse than they treat complete strangers. This, of course, is one reason why female friendships seldom tend to last as long as male friendships do. I've never quite understood myself why women will make the effort to get all dolled up for the office or a girl's night out, only to swap it all for a bare face and the usual sweatpants when they get home in order to ensconce themselves in front of the television more comfortably.  Of course, it could be worse.  At least she's not out running around in lingerie or a bikini, right?

So is it just attention-mongering? Female competition? Taking the sure thing for granted? It's clearly not "dirty ovulating whore syndrome" as some male pessimists would have it, not when they're getting back at a reasonable hour instead of coming home in the early hours smelling of some other man's aftershave.

I should mention that I got this image from Rollo's blog, but I'm taking it in a different direction than he did with his discussion of how enthusiastic marital sex appears to have recently become a porn niche.

What I'm interested is the way in which the combination of changes in the sexual marketplace and increased exposure to the risks and realities of marriage through the medium appear to be significantly changing young men's objective's concerning marriage. Consider this recent article from the New York Times:

In 1997, about 35 percent of young men and 29 percent of young women said that having a successful marriage was “one of the most important things” in their lives. Today, for some reason, the shares have reversed. These attitudinal changes have occurred alongside a delay in age of first marriage, which is now at a record high.

Fewer than a third of young men, 29 percent, now believe that having a successful marriage is one of the most important things in life. I suspect this is because they see it as being akin to deciding that "riding a unicorn" is your primary objective in life; one is doomed to disappointment in pursuing the nonexistent. The fact that "66 percent of women 18 to 34 years old said that being successful in a high-paying career or profession was “one of the most important things” or “very important” in their lives" compared to 37 percent who now put a similar priority on marriage may also be a factor in the declining interest in marriage among young men.  But it's particularly interesting to see that young women's belief in the desirability of a successful marriage has increased, and I wonder what could be behind that in light of how women are still the driving force in ending most marriages today.