Image courtesy of www. silvahound.bandcamp.com
In many ways, proper parenting continues to be a sticky subject. Raising kids is such a monumental task, requiring skills that have no manual or formal study. It just happens, and you are there to accept
and welcome it. Parenting these days often go by gut and feel. There are many parenting styles that parents adhere to, believing it will work effectively for their children:
Helicopter – Parents constantly interact with and often interfere with their children's lives. They hover like a helicopter.
Authoritative – “You live under my roof, you follow my rules!” Discipline is assertive, yet democratic and with reason. Parent is warm, nurturing, but still strict when necessary.
Permissive - Otherwise called as "lenient." This style is often evidenced by parents who try to be more friend than parent, avoid confrontation and are generally nurturing and communicative.
Authoritarian -Authoritarian parents believe strong, harsh discipline is the key to raising good kids. Research has shown that while children of authoritarian parents often perform well academically but they are more at risk of becoming adults with low self-esteem and poor social skills.
There are even parents who believe that parental authority does not stop when a child is 18, but only with marriage. Some kids fight hard to get out of it..
This has been Obedient Daughter’s OD predicament ever since she can remember. At her matured age, she thinks she would forever be a follower with no mind of her own – unless she does something to reverse it. She thinks she has become passive, and often, OD will rather not discuss her issues with her elders ( indeed, why bother if you are always wrong or ignored?).
At a recent musical event, OD had a role to fill in. Before the show started, OD and her co-stars were already called to sit down on their assigned tables. OD came in looking very sad with eyes that looked puffy from crying. One of the staff asked her why, OD just smiled said she was okay. But when it was another staff who was close to her approached and asked her, OD told her the truth. OD rejected and hated very much the outfit she was made to wear that evening. She had another preference but again, her elder was the one who chose for her and she had to follow – without question.
As usual, the elder does not prize anyone’s opinion but hers -- just hers alone.
Will OD finally come out stronger and unscathed from this ordeal - in this lifetime?
“Never let the hand you hold, hold you down.”
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