Big-bellied hotness: So what’s wrong with being pregnant and sexy?

Kim Kardashian… two words that can inspire squeals of delight or utter loathing. Personally, I’m not a fan of the infamous Kimmy Kakes, but the recent criticism that she’s received from bloggers and the public, in general, has made me much more sympathetic to the reality star. I’m specifically talking about the criticism she’s received for her style choices as a pregnant woman: form-fitting dresses, boobage for days, mini-skirts, side splits, etc. I’m also talking about the epithets that have been thrown at her since she’s become pregnant: fat, big ass, whale, etc.  And never one to suffer in silence (or to be silent, at all), Kim has responded to the criticism:

“I wore this black leather skirt the other day,” she said in a recent interview. “People are like, ‘Why are you wearing black? Are you ashamed? Are you trying to hide it?’ It was tight! I was trying to show the bump. [They said], ‘You’re trying to suffocate the baby!’” Kim said of the backlash over a recent outfit. “Everything I do, it seems to be crazy.”

As a woman who was pregnant… oh, about a month ago, I can empathize with Kim — a little. When you watch your waistline expand so much that you look less like Jessica Rabbit and more like Tweedledum and Tweedledee…  When every time you step on the scale and realize you put on another three damn pounds… When you start to spot stretchmarks in places you weren’t even aware could stretch… a girl starts to feel a bit insecure! You know what I mean? You don’t need people to point out how big you’ve gotten or that the outfit you have on really isn’t that flattering anymore. (I have eyes, ya’ll. Thanks!)

But the thing I question about Kim isn’t why she chose to wear a tight leather skirt at five months pregnant, but why she is so deeply invested in her sexual image that she can’t give it a break — even a little — while her body is expanding to support a new life?

In ancient times, pregnant women were the ultimate symbol of fertility. Statues were carved in their honor and worshiped. Then as time went on, pregnancy was seen as something to be shunned or hidden. Pregnant women were literally kept away from prying eyes. Now it seems like the pendulum has swung too far in the other direction. From low-rise hiphuggers that show off the naked pregnant belly to form-fitting dresses that would probably look better on a Victoria's Secret than a Destination Maternity model, the pregnant form has become as sexy as a Playboy pinup. And it’s not just these sexy fashion choices that raise eyebrows, but even upcoming shows like Pregnant & Dating on WeTV that is suppose to chronicle the sex lives of pregnant single women. “Single, Sexy, and Taking Control,” says the show tagline.

 

Seriously? Is that really taking control? Is that really female empowerment? If there is any time when a woman doesn’t have to be crammed into the male ideal of sexy and available, you would think it was while she was pregnant! If there is any time in a woman’s life when you would think she doesn’t have to worry about whether she has spare condoms in her purse, you would think it’s when she’s toting around a baby in her belly! Come on, people! Let’s pump the brakes on this one!

So for those who call Kim a fat ass, I say, lay off. The girl is pregnant! If she puts on 60 pounds… big deal! It’ll come off eventually. But I would also tell women like Kim to lay off too. Relinquish the booby crown for now, Señorita Hotness! Are you so invested in how alluring you are that you can’t take a break from your sexy image even for a little bit? If not, then some self examination may be in order. I know I had to do a little self examination of my own. Being pregnant showed me that I am more than the numbers on my bathroom scale. I am more than my waistline. I am the bearer of life and that is what’s important… not how fine I look.

- from Black Girl Nerds contributor, Shelly Ellis
You can visit the formerly pregnant fiction author/magazine editor, Shelly, at shellyellisbooks.com.