The Making of Coco LaSwish

Coco LaSwish

Shameless self-promotion time. Today is the birthday of my very first children’s book: Coco LaSwish-A Fish from a Different Rainbow. The official launch will be next month on Sunday, August 18 from Noon – 1PM at the Amor Spiritual Center (2528 Beacon Ave S Seattle, WA 98144), but the online launch is TODAY. I am so excited. For such a short book this process has taken forever.

Rewind to a little over 10 years ago when I was an English teacher living Japan. One of my hobbies was visiting the English language bookstore. I could stay there all day just basking in the books and enjoying the luxury of words in a language I could read easily. Because of the limited selection I read all sorts of things I might normally have missed, including a children’s book called the Rainbow Fish. At first glance I was drawn to the colors and the title, but what I read depressed me.

It was a book about a fish who was different, a beautiful fish with rainbow scales who didn’t fit in with the other fish. SPOILER ALERT. It ends with the rainbow fish giving away all but one of her rainbow scales to the other fish so that they could each have one. She gave up her uniqueness to be accepted.  

Me with some coworkers in Japan

Though I loved a lot about living in Japan, at times I felt very isolated. There was this strange contradiction of being expected to be foreign, but also to assimilate completely into Japanese culture. As the only black person to live in my town, I got a lot of stares. In fact, the first time I arrived to work, my students literally screamed at the sight of me. It was awkward. People followed me around in grocery stores to see what I was buying. I felt like I was an alien from outerspace.

The Fish Making Process

Sometimes my differences were celebrated. Lots of people invited me over for dinner or out for drinks. I rarely had to pay to get into a club. I was popular, but it was also very superficial. Not everyone wanted to spend time with me to get to know me, but rather because having a Black American friend was trendy, a sort of status symbol. I felt like a wind up doll…take me out and listen to me sing karaoke in English.  Moreover as I began to learn how to teach and had suggestions about ways to improve the curriculum, I was met with this very polite wall of NO. It seemed as though I was only okay when I stayed in the appropriate boxes. I could be a teacher, but only a certain kind of teacher, with certain kinds of input. I could be a foreigner, but it was expected that I conform to a Japanese lifestyle. Though my program was supposed to be an exchange of culture, often I felt like I was expected to exchange my identity for Japanese and only be foreign in the classroom.

Maybe if I had read that book during another time in my life it wouldn’t have bothered me so much. But everything happens for a reason and years later when I was asked to write a poem for a school talent show (when I was Stateside again and teaching in Seattle), I decided to write the story I would have wanted to read.

A fish on a mission to shine

Coco LaSwish is truly a fish from a different rainbow. It’s a short book, but a great reminder for people of all ages to be proud of who you are…to celebrate the beautiful uniqueness that is you.

Though I wrote the first draft in 2008, with the support and encouragement of my friends I returned to the project last year and began the illustration process. For such a short book, it took a really long time, but it was worth it. For those of you out there who have a story to tell (and that is most everyone), I hope you will tell it, no matter how long it takes for you to get it right. And thanks to my community for always allowing me to be that crazy colored fish zigzagging through my life.

Reagan Jackson is a writer, artist, YA fiction aficionado, afro-punk, international educator, and community organizer based in Seattle, WA. You can find her most Tuesdays at the Seattle Poetry Slam or maybe just being nerdy at her favorite bookstores.