I have to thank you for changing my life. I stumbled across your blogs this past July and they have radically altered my thinking. I am a full believer in HBD and the socio-sexual hierarchy, etc.I think I'm going to have to break my response into several parts. Consider this the introduction. Let's start by looking at something very basic: intelligence. AD is obviously intelligent, she values intelligence, but at the same time, being a woman, she is naturally hypergamous. So, this means that she's simultaneously a) attracted to men who are more intelligent than she is, and b) insulted by the idea that men might be attracted to women who are less intelligent than they are.
On that note-- I've had a hard time adjusting. In the past I've drafted emails to you that I never sent, seeking advice on what to do with myself if I'm not supposed to be assertive, or to take on leadership roles, or... just any of the things I'm used to doing that are masculine. I've had a hard time realizing that everything I liked about myself was masculine, but I am, in fact, a girl. Until yesterday, when I found Part 1 of that Saving SF from Strong Female Characters essay, I had a hard time imagining that women were good for anything. I've been so wrapped up in these ideas of solipsism and hypergamy and everything else that makes women women as Ultimate Evils and I haven't known what to do with myself, or how to reconcile it all. Part of it, I think, is the feminist indoctrination that really taught me that femininity is lame and everything good and to be aspired to is masculine. I appreciated Wright's discussion of feminine strength: even though I'm still not 100% on board with it, it is a comfort to think that there's something potentially strong, or decent or good, about femininity.
Would you blog about the traits a decent Christian woman should develop, which are feminine in nature? And also, which things to NOT do, which are masculine in nature? I am a fan of conforming to reality and reality happens to involve gender roles. I've always known that, but now that I'm trying to implement it, I find myself at a loss. The one thing that Game blogs make very clear is the importance of appearance, and I 100% agree, and I take care of my body. But beyond that, what character traits are there that I should be developing? What more masculine traits should I be avoiding? I feel like every thing that I like about myself--directness and assertiveness and intelligence and so on--are basically supposed to be used by men and not women... so I don't know what to do, except maybe try to be less aggressive and more passive-aggressive in my life. I will admit I am a pretty aggressive person. But the idea of cultivating passive-aggression doesn't sit that well with me at this point. It's one of my least favorite aspects of humans and one reason I've always hated hanging out with other girls.
Just in case it matters, I'm a 25-year-old white woman--been married for five years this month. Earned my degree in soil chemistry when I was 20. I'm 12 weeks postpartum with my 2nd kid. I've been a SAHM for almost three years now. Ever since I started high school, I've been the default leader of every group I've belonged to--not because I necessarily wanted to lead, but because people would just turn to me like I was supposed to lead them, and strategic thinking and delegation come very naturally to me (but should I be deferring to men to do that?). I go to church every week, study scriptures and pray every day, and am thoroughly convinced of my need to start being more feminine. I just don't know where to start, beyond taming my gloriously post-partum figure.
Thanks for everything, again. You really have changed my life. You've made it a lot harder, admittedly--but it's for the better. Thanks for introducing me to reality.
Catch-22. Do you see the intrinsic problem there?
This intelligence-related dichotomy is AD's problem writ small. And this is why she shouldn't ever wish to be what she is not. To be a man requires more than exhibiting male traits, it also involves valuing what men value. AD is making the classic female mistake of conflating the possession of a trait and the valuing of it in others, thereby setting herself up to violate the "opposites attract" rule.
Where to start? I think by first attempting to intellectually grasp the difference between being and being attracted. AD might be aggressive, but I very much doubt that like an aggressive man, she is very attracted to submissive members of the opposite sex. Once she grasps that essential difference, she should be able to take the next step and begin understanding that it is not at all important to develop the masculine virtues in herself that she values in others, but rather the feminine virtues that her husband values in her.
I will address what those feminine virtues are in a future post.
