Have you heard the story about the farmer and the seed? I'm sure you're somewhat familiar with the proverbial story about how a farmer awaits the harvest of his seeds by waiting and whilst in the process he waters and provides it the sunlight it needs to grow. Waiting for a seed to become a plant doesn't happen overnight, nor does it always happen within a season. It can take time for it to grow and fully develop to be come the sweet fruit it was destined to become.
That is how I feel about my life right now. I confess boldly that I am a woman of faith and look to scripture to help me when I'm feeling down and out about a situation that I cannot control. In my case, I feel like I've taken all the right steps to become a successful human being. I attended school and pursued a higher education, I managed to hang onto a bare thread and not succumb to becoming a teenage mom and live independently without children. I've even managed to dodge the bullet of getting out of a string of bad relationships that could have led to a pretty miserable life.
From the outside, friends and family think I have it all together. However, what you see on the outside is not always the case when you dig a little deeper and see what's exposed on the inside. I feel like I have been born to do great things on this planet, and I'm not certain where to begin. Whenever I am asked the question----what is your dream job? Or what do you want to do with your life?
I still hesitate for a moment to ponder the question, I usually have an answer, but at times it seems quite disingenuous to myself as I am saying it. It's almost as if I am trying to convince myself (rather than others) what my true goals and passions are.
My problem is I have a broad range of passions and talents that I'm good at. I don't say that to come off as cocky or arrogant, but I have a passion for writing, filmmaking, producing, social networking, public speaking, marketing, web design, etc.
I have a talent for all of the above and there are a myriad of careers that fall into each and every one of them whether it be independently or an accumulation of the two, three, or all of them.
Right now I'm in a seasonal period of waiting. I'm waiting for the next chapter of my life to begin and waiting for that next opportunity to come into fruition. Whether it be a break in my writing, a job promotion, a film production opportunity, or any of my own passionate desires to open the floodgates of blessings---it's the waiting part that really gets under my skin.
I know I have to contend with the fact that my lack of patience is why I am suffering in this area. I'm the type of person who wants it right now and right this second. If I don't see instant results of my hard work, then I feel like I've failed in some way.
Does anyone else out there have this attitude?
So here is what I can only propose that I should do and if anyone else is going through this then perhaps you can follow this advice too.
WAIT.
Sit back, relax, and try not to work so hard to figure out why your good works are not producing the blessing that you want. You're probably going through a season where you feel like your well has dried up and you ponder to yourself---what have I done to deserve this? Why I am suffering when I have taken all the right steps?
Rather than blaming yourself or blaming God for your "perceived shortcomings", take a step back and look at the big picture. Analyze what is happening right now and what lesson can I learn from this process?
Perhaps you are like me, and you're an impatient person who needs to be convicted in the area of long-suffering.
Or perhaps you're someone who is desperate to love someone but you don't know how to fully love yourself and that is why you have issues with relationships.
Maybe you find yourself always struggling financially to get ahead and this is your time to assess how you spend your money.
Whatever it may be, just know that in the period of waiting, which I define as the period between not having what you need to receiving all that you desire is a period that you should be grateful for. May I be so bold to say that if it were not for the waiting the blessing you receive may in fact be your curse if you do not appreciate or handle it well.
Be patient and wait...you will receive all of the desires of your heart.
J.
